We can live life in a depressed state and not know or feel it. If you live with something long enough, you won’t notice it. If the pains get more and build up, your continued insensitivity to the feeling of hurt in yourself, will eventually have catastrophic consequences.
Proverbs 14:10 NIV
“Each heart knows its own bitterness,
and no one else can share its joy.”
It is a usual reality that a person would know how they feel and what they think is true and right. But our sense of judgment can be warped and our ability to allow ourselves to express feelings and make self-protective decisions, becomes dysfunctional. When we are sinned against, especially when we are young, there will be serious consequences that have to be faced at some time. There is no way to cope without the inner working of God’s Spirit in the life. There is no comfort apart from Him, and He can teach us incredible lessons that will lift us and make us strong in the strength of God. This can take a long time and so many other life events get tangled up in the pain, but to emerge out of the other side brings such joy. As the heart conceals its pain, so also, it can rejoice in its personal and eternal joy.
In trouble, there are certain features to look out for.
Our lack of care for ourselves is a serious problem. Desperate things can happen, especially when we are young, things that can start a chain of reactions as non-reaction. The pain is not felt or recognised, and so is subdued in the conscious and subconscious parts of our being, storing up a heap of trouble for later…
There is the issue of denial of our own suffering, and the acceptance of lies and devious thought processes, learned from people with vested interests in our slave-state.
There is the problem of not being able to share what is happening. A prison of silence, pretending and covering up. The boundary lines of the real life and a fantasy, yet also real-time scenarios, become smudged and the fantasy of the promised future brings strong emotions.
People who take everything that is precious about your person, and give nothing in return, seeking to cover their tracks, will weave a web of deceit. We must teach our children and warn them about predatorial people, and give them a true and robust view of themselves as people. No one should be alive simply to please other people.
“Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief.”
It can become second nature to live a seeming happy life, and yet also carry around a deep hurt that has coloured everything, but is unseen. No one can see the heart. We can live with great heartache, and yet not realise many things about what it is and why it surfaces. Because the one hurt has been ignored and left unidentified, the pain accumulates and the layers increase.
Often a life-changing event can trigger a deep and frightening crisis, and so all these other troubles suddenly start to appear. It can take a long time to sort out the conundrum of the mind and much courage to face real guilt and false guilt and confess it all to the Lord and cast it all on His deep love.
No matter how long it takes, God is always with His daughters and has promised victory and great joy. Rejoicing may end in grief for some, but for the child of God, grief will end in great joy.
ThePsalm 16:8-11 NIV
“I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
What rejoicing this is.! Whatever griefs and suffering we have known, when we look at our precious Saviour and take into ourselves His promises, they will melt away. And more- we will have real strength and huge courage to face anything. We will loosen our fears and become as bold as lions and no one will put us down..
It is easy to see hurt as never ending and to have to face such difficult and deep troubles as impossible, but it is not. Nothing is impossible with the Father and all power is given to God’s people as they live in the Spirit and keep pace with Him.